Carnal Knowledge/Chapter 8

We pulled up in front of Tim’s trailer, and, I noticed Tim looking around, as he turned the pickup off. “What are you looking for?” I wanted to know. “Yer guard dog, Wayne,” he replied. I said nothing to this, as it would undoubtedly bring up the issue of my age, which was ever a sore point between us. I, too, however, glanced around, making certain that there was no Wayne, lurking in the shadows, waiting to rescue me from this cowboy. I very much did not want to be rescued.
Tim got out of the pickup, and, motioned for me to slide over, then, turned around, and presented his back. I climbed aboard!! I had no shoes on, and, the trailer sat on limestone rocks. As we made our way around to the side of the trailer the door was on, I noticed another reason for my piggyback ride: The back steps were missing. We managed to get the door open, and, me inside, and, Tim stepped in after me.

As he flipped on the lights, my shyness became overwhelming. I looked at the floor, not knowing what to do, what to say, or, where to look. I suddenly felt very sober. Tim asked, “What do you want to listen to?” I glanced up at him, then, quickly away. “It’s up to you,” I said softly. AC/DC was soon on the turntable, and, I still stood in the middle of the living room, looking at the floor. Suddenly, I was in his arms, and, we were heading down the hallway to his bedroom. He deposited me on the bed, then left the room. I sat frozen, in the same position, until he returned, carrying a small candle, which he lit with the lighter he retrieved from his pocket. “Romance,” he said, with a chuckle, setting the candle on the nightstand. He pulled me into his arms, and, we were soon in the spooning position. “Now, tell me why you are scared of me,” he whispered in my ear.
Somehow, being in his arms made me feel less…awkward and uncomfortable. “I don’t know,” I said quietly,”You just make me nervous, sometimes.” I didn’t want to admit that it was because he seemed so grown up, so independent, so mysterious, and, that I feared saying the wrong thing, or, giving him ammunition with which to tease me. And, I feared the sex, as well. I feared that because I knew he would figure out how inexperienced I was, and, I feared I would disappoint him.
“Darlin’,” he whispered, “You’ve been scaring the hell out of me for months. I’m probably more scared of you than you are of me.” I knew why he was scared of me, without asking, so, I said nothing. He began to kiss my neck, and, to gently remove my clothing. He managed to do this with one hand. I was soon naked, and, he was fully clothed. He suddenly flipped himself dramatically back away from me, and, folded his hands behind his head. “Okay, kiddo. Now that you’ve torn all your clothes off, what are you going to do with me?” “That’d be up to you, cowboy, “ I said, doing my best imitation of him, and, remaining in the fetal position next to him. I hid my face under my arm for good measure.
He bounded out of bed and flipped on the light, then returned to me. He was grinning,” I hope you don’t mind. I been waiting so long for this, I don’t wanna miss anything, and, that candle ain’t enough light.” He then looked me over, fairly thoroughly, even moving a few limbs about, and, whistled his special, fast and high pitched wolf whistle. “You really oughta be in pictures, cowgirl,” he said very softly. I gazed back at him, not feeling nearly as awkward as I should have. “I feel like a yearling at auction,” I told him dryly…my voice shook just a tiny bit. He laughed and pulled me into his arms. A short time later, he murmured, “You are a real girl! I thought maybe I’d find a little plastic seam, like on a Barbie doll.” I giggled and asked him if he was disappointed. “Relieved,” he said, softly. “Damn, though, you’re so itty bitty—your little girl parts aint’ no bigger than a bug’s ear!” Girl Parts?! Only he would come up with something so inoffensively descriptive.
There wasn’t much talking, after that. A bit later, we were startled by knocking at Tim’s window. Tim got up to peek outside, still naked. Thankfully, the window was high, so that only his face peeked out. It was, as feared, Wayne. I could hear his Louisiana drawl asking, “Have you got that little girl in there?” Ooooooooooh, noooooooooooooo. Tim hesitated, which was all Wayne needed. “You and I are going to talk tomorrow,” I heard Wayne say, angrily.